I've been quite clueless these past few days.. I know i should be concentrating on my exams and not thinking about anything else but i just can't help it.. Its like thinking about things which i should not be thinking about... I have been turning to god to see if he can give me a clear answer. i have spent time thinking and to be im ashamed to say this but crying.... i have been looking for signs and jsut clues for my answer and i think i may have got an answer today... it wasn't so clear and i don't know if its the right answer but i am going to accept it.I heard in Oprah once that history keeps repeating itself until you have learnt your lesson. I am so scared dat history is going to repeat itself again. i hope to just be normal and not do anything. i don't want to think about a person and i don't want to really be in touch with the person. i feel like i have just been falling into a bottomless pit and its going no where.. i just want to be rescued and brought back to the ground. i had so much self-control... i hope to get it all back i feel so vulnerable... i don't understan why i keep doing this to myself.. i'm so fed up of thinking the same thing again and again and again.. i just wish god will give me the strength to put this matter at the back of my mind and let me just concentrate on my exams.lets see, exams on friday!! PP2(26/5) ---> going to start only on wednesdayBody Control System(31/5) ---> started like 8 lectures from sem 1 and 3 from sem 2Pharmacognosy (1/6) ---> going to start it tom for a dayPharmaceutics(2/6) ---> spent three days on it and finised part of it but 90 people had to resit dat exam last year!!! its the hardest of them all.. 100% exam and not coursework involved!! Renal and respitaroty and cardiovascular (5/6) ---> did the two major chunks but i didn't memorise the information and have just read through.. Looking at my summary, i wonder how i am going to pass my exams!! Oh god, i really have to prioratise shoudn't i!!! Yeah i think so tooo...
SubaG
7:17 pm
My title for today was actually a book dat i read a long time ago and it was developed as a small BBC drama for about four weeks. It was a really good drama.. It was about the lives of british indians who lived in england but still had to stay in the indian way.. quite interesting actually...well, i think that this really suits me at the moment.. i just had a huge turn of events.. i was meant to be going back to brunei on the 12th of June but guess wat.. i might be going back to brunei only on the 22nd of July! i can't believe how things just become so different! i have to wait for my pre-registration interview.. they will only be starting pre-registration interviews after June 22nd. so i will have to wait till y interview and then only i will get to go home.. How ironic, the song Home by michael buble is playing in the background when i am writing this!! lol.. oh well.. i guess its all for the best in the end.. maybe i might have to resit my exams so its better i just stay here first to get my results and see how things are.. i dunno!! ill be working at the pharmacy over the hols.. wow, how fun! lol.. i guess its interesting in a way cuz i get to see all these rich people in chauffer(sp?) driven cars with their maids and everybody.. i got to say, some of the maids look more posh than me!! lol....i probably wil be going and visiting people i know over the hols as well.. i guess its good in a way but its disappointing as well since i was really looking forward to going back home and getting a good rest and being spoilt and just relaxing.. looks like i have to stay here and do a bit or work b4 i can relax! revision picked up today.. i was able to finish all but one of grimsey's notes... still have about three more lecture notes till im done for today.. the pressure is on as its only about 6 more days till the exams.. just hope i can survive this time!! *fingers crossed* i will be able to pass all my exams!
SubaG
9:19 pm
I
finally was able to upload my photos today!! i was awake till one trying to do ti yesterday but just kept getting errors! well.. here's a short explanation to the photos!
the first pic was of the four of us b4 we left for the ball.. the second one was of Mr. Tucker and Mitesh B4 they were going to down the shots.. the other one was taken in the yellow bus we were on on the way back to revolution.. the last one was a pic of me and meena with mitesh and his bro.. don't they look like they were our body guards? lol..
i think ill try and upload more pics! he he he..
SubaG
12:27 pm
SubaG
12:09 pm
the ball is finally Over!! YAY!! lol, i am so glad the ball is over and done with!! i guess the ball was ok btu i think we had more fun in the winer ball.. i guess the afterball party was better actually. i think it was a very good idea to have an afterball party where we can all just enjoy ourselves and unwind. Revolution was very nice to us and actually let us in free after 1 a.m. so it was a very impromtu thing actually. I tried uploading the pictures but theres an error.. i dunno whast wrong with it and i am pretty fed-up with it but i will keep trying to upload it.. yesterday went quite fast.. Lubna did my hair for me.. i put my hair up for a change. i wore my red dress from first year in the end.. i had to go early to the hotel to meet the early birds, melissa's bf drove us to cedar court.. he seemed like a nice guy. he was quite quiet but friendly as well. first time i met him.. there wasn't anyone there..had to get the photographer to arrange his position and everything. the people started arriving in busses! we made it sound posh by putting the coaches were going to be bringing them to revolution but it was actually busses! double decker buses! lol.. it was a cheaper option! everyone looked really nice!! some girl actually had the same dress as sarah on!! That was bad newson the down side.. mitesh's brother pritesh was there... he was so quiet! i found it quite amusing, mitesh and pritesh! lol.. the evening was just dinner and dance and raffle prizes.. that was about it... we had to leave the place at 1 in the morning.. nothign special happened... we went to revolution after that and the guys were just downing shots! mitesh had had three shots as well as glasses of double vodka. you'd think that guy would have had enough of the drinks but he decides to challenge out lecturer to downing 6 shots at one go!! he won by like a second at downing the shots down and the lecturer, mr.tucker decides to have another second round. so basically mitesh had downed 12 shots at one go and boy was he drunk!! he was just hugh after dat.. He and the guys were meant to be walking us back home but we girls ended up looking out for the guys.. kelvin couldn't handle the shots cuz he threw i up at the end of it... mitesh and sam were just high in alcohol!! i had to link arms around him to make sure he would just walk in a straight line and not walk on the road or something like dat!! gosh, dat guy!! Gadget and matthew were the sober ones and walked up back to the halls while the drunk guys made their way home the opposite way! i just went to sleep cuz i was so sleepy!!! i thought i could sleep in and wake up late but i got woken up by voices outside. i just woke up and ended up just gossiping about the night to anisha dna the rest of the girls.... am sleepy now.. going to go and sleep.. have got a PP2 exam on tuesday!! dunno wat im gonna do!! Aaahhhh
SubaG
12:15 am
SubaG
11:48 pm
Just about 24 hours to go till the ball ends!! YESS!!! im so glad its gonna be over!! i can finally get back to a normal life after this ball! matt just keeps saying i use the ball as an excuse not to do my work but its not like i don't want to do it.. its just dat thats how my body has been programmed. if i was to organise something i need to do it right and make sure it is al perfect!! we'll have to see how things go.. im going to straighten my hair and get some curls in my hair.. im not going to make it all curly but there's gonna be some curls in my hair for a change and i got a nice necklace which is red.. something was missing in the outfit but we can't really figure out what and apparently my dress is quite short but i am really not bothered already. it has got to the point where i am no longer looking forward to the ball but i am waiting for it to end! this time tom, ill be reminiscing about the ball and hopefully it should be good.. *fingers crossed* will be missing seeing Nigel on J floor while im sellin tickets!! me and him really bonded for the past few weeks! lol... Nigel's the lab technician and a really nice guy! so so sleepy.. we watched the movie doom and went on to continue to watch 'just friends' but i just fell asleep while watching it.. no idea wat happened but the guy and the girl got together in the end.. i mean, how predictable hey!! the movie 'doom' was stupid as well. there was not proper ending or anythign like dat.. i basically wasted my whole day today! was suppossed to do a bit or work today but matthew came over in the morning so dat we could sort out his notes and then we had to photocopy them as well.... spent the whole morning doing dat and then me and the girls had lunch at subways.. second subway this week --> not good!! thats about it i guess..
SubaG
2:02 am
I must be walking on the road with a sign on me that says "please throw an egg on me!" lol i went out for dinner with heena and was walking back home.. heena wanted to take some cash out so i was waiting for her at the cash machine and i was watching this car drive by. next thing i knew my leg was wet and realised someone in dat car had thrown an egg at me!! This is the second recurrence!! The ball is TOM, thats like in 24 hours time!! AAaaahhh...well, most of the things are sorted already. we don't have any sponsors for the ball. we have managed to use the cheapest stuff and got everything sorted. we didn't have raffle prizes on wednesday. I said i will sponsor two boxes of choclates as the raffle prize since its for charity. then we said we can borrow £50 off the account and buy other decent prizes like cinema tickets and ice-rink as well..but the exec was really supporting and they all pitched in as well and started sponsoring raffle prizes as well.. I was quite proud actually cuz at least everyone can come together in times when we were quite desperate. after wednesday, we just got the raffle prizes coming in! we got bradford bulls ticket for rugby and free dinner at Omars and also free tickets for bowling. i guess the ball is looking good the more its nearing the date. i just hope there won't be any major hitch-ups tom!! i can't believe the ball is tom! time has just flew!!im contemplating whether i shall wear the red dress for the ball or the saree for the ball.. im not too sure.. the dress is an allright fit for me and the girls say i like nicer in the saree but i don't really feel dat comfortable in it and i rather be eelign comfortable in it.. so yeah im a clueless gorilla at the moment! lol...Well, need to do a bit or revision and cleaning my room!
SubaG
9:01 am
Had my calculations exam yest... have no idea how dat went.. i knew how to do ten and i didn't know how to do four and i am only allowed to get four mistakes to pass at 70%!! thats the most dreaded thing, even a single mistake might cause me to come back to good ol bradford *sacasm* to resit my calculations exam!! thw worse bit is we only get our results in june!! The seminar was today.. i think i did pretty good considering i only prepared for it like 7 3o in the morning anf i had my presentation at 9 in the morning! it went smoothly and i guessi realised dat our practica group can get along with each other in a way.. i thought it was quite segregated but then i think when it boils down to doing work, we actually do quite well as a whole big group except for certain exceptions! lolthe weather was amazing today! it was such a nice day! we didn't even need to wear jackets! it was so warm and nice!! too bad i can't be out enjoyign the weather and have to sell tickets on J floor.. Tickets sales end today adn the ball is in two days time.. i just know what i am going to wear. i haven't actually decided on wat jewelerry or whatever i am goign to do! will have to sort something out tom! most of the lectures are over except for renal and body control.. can't wait to finish lectures.. 15 days till the exams! so not looking forward to it.. hopefully it will be allright.. i ave no idea what i have been doign with my time but second year has flown by so quickly!! i can't believe how fast time flies!! feeling sleepy now.. hope to get up at 6 in the morning for some revision.. see how it goes! lol
SubaG
12:22 am
Today was such a nice day! it started off by being a cold day but it turned out to be such a warm day! you didn't even need a jacket when you went outside! it was such a nice day! i hate having this cold.. i feel cold eventhough its not dat cold!! Oh we have 100 people coming to the ball!! it is sucha n achievement!! its looking better actually! i am so thankful we have 100 people.. at least we got to fill in half the room so it won't look dat empty! ticket sales are until wednesday so it shouldn't be too bad! keeping my fingers crossed and see if we can sell more tickets. Im taking a break from BAPS. have got a calculations exam and a seminar to concentrate on!! i don't want to be neglectign other things now.. i finally got a chance to go to the library and do my revison instead of other things!! eels good to actually revise something!! will probably wake up early to prepare for my seminar and look through at my work.. Have got an inhaler workshop to go to.. apparently we get to try and use inhalers.. shoud be ineresting cuz i have never tried usign a n inhaler and wonder how it us! feelng sleepy but i have to get used to getting little amounts of sleep. Gonna go and sleep now
SubaG
1:12 am
How bad can my week be?? Hmm.....
- Failed my mock dispensing exam. I killed two patients. i gave 490mls of methadone to an addict instead of 35 mls. i also did an overdose! Gave an 11 year old kid 8 co-codomol tablets instead of 4!! I got -120 for that which means i just failed straigh away! i really wonder how i can be a pharmacist at times like this!!
- we sold 65 ball tickets. I think we will be really lucky if we sell 100 tickets!! my target is selling 35 more ball tickets.. lets see what happens. i am not really bothered about the ball now. i am really stressing over the ball and being worried for it when its not my responsibility!! i have done more than my share for this ball. My whole two weeks have been filled with bal stuff and just literally begging people to come.. i like the people sitting on my table so that's allright at least!
- Have got the cold!! Hate the cold!! been coughing and sniffling and having shivering attacks!! I got some Lemsip capsules, hope dat will work! Might have to go and see the GP if i don't feel better. Have to get well a.s.a.p with exams coming and all. calculations exam next week! have to pass it at 70%! im scared of my professional development module now! i thought i could hack it but looks like i can't!!
- Went to Omar's for dinner today.. it was the usual normal dinner. we went to Jacksons to get an ice-cream. I saw butter 'botak', this bald guy who does clinical science who is not bad looking! well, i saw him and i was just telling the girls and laughing around.. I was just minding my own business and crossing the road. i was in the centre of the road and suddenly i feel this pain in me stomach.. i was wondering wat happened. a bunch of guys had thrown an egg at me. well, the egg bounced off my fats and fell on the road and cracked but the pain was so unbearable. they had thrown it with such a force. i was so shocked. there was a car behind the first car and the driver put his head outside the window and just started laughing out loud while he was driving away. i didn't know wat to do.. i couldn't enjoy my ice-cream after that.. i was just in shock only.. first encounter of bradford hooligans but i am sure i will be bumping into these kinds of idiots quite often!!
Little Matthew's birthday was on sunday.. he had a little party at his place today before going to livingstones.. i just went for it cuz he does so muchf or us girls and always walks us back so that we are safely back at halls.. i just went for a bit and they were going on to livingstones but i just could not be bothered. i just wanted to come back, take my medication and go to sleep. going to make annoncements tom in lectures about the ball. have to wake up early!! *sigh* oh well...
I changed my blog layout to the old style again.. i wasn't completely happy with the new layout.. going to change it when i go back so that i can ask my sister for help and ask her to kind of do it for me.. i did learn a bit but i want to do it properly.. My sis actually sent me an e-mail tutoring me with the hints and everything.. Aww, bless her!! Thanks!
SubaG
11:27 am
It was May Day Bank holiday today. i was suppossed to make the most of it and revise but did i do it?? Hmm.... NO! i dunno where time flew.. there was a May Day carnival organised at the students union.. it was for charity. BAPS had a stall there and we were kind of meant to be there but then i really could not be bothered to be there.. i mean there wasn't proper organisational skills or anything like that and we didn't even know wat to do but yeah.. the carnival wasn't even like a proper carnival but yeah.. I woke up today and did one lecture note and have just been doing other stuff.. need to research about new anti-epileptic drugs for our seminar next week and we have a real calculations exam and we have the summer ball next week.. i am just dreading next week!!! i think i will have to say revision is going to be out of the window but then i will have to make sure that i just spend three hours everyday at least in the library to revise!! Have to try and get some past year papers as well.. quite hard to get though.. Saw Mat today... we were going to just do lecture notes but i ended up spending two and a half hours with him! we were talking and talking and doing some photocopying and stuff like dat... u just don't realise how time flies sometimes.. Feel so sick at the moment, i just had a shivering atttack in the evening wheni had my nap.. i dunno what was wrong.. i think i am getting down with the cold or something like dat.. i have the symptoms already.. i should have tried vicks self defense actually! it would have been good o have first hand experience with dat so dat it will come in handy when i am a pharmacist! lol.. i found out today that one of the girls in my course split up with her husband. they have only been married for a year. the guy and the girl got close last year in first year and they got married during the summer hols. they have been living together eversince they got married and they are in the same practical group and they alwasy sit next to each other in practicals.. you wonder sometimes how come people can be so close and together 24/7.. well, i hope they resolve their problems and get back together again!! i had my mock dispensing exam on tuesday. i got a prescription for methadone which is used to treat drug addicts. i was meant to be dispensing 35mls of methadone but i dispensed 490mls instead. it was not an overdose but then addicts will surely love me if i keep giving them a lot of doses of drugs!! gosh, i dunno what came over me!! oh well.. at least i know for next time!! ill be laughing when i get my result on wednesday!! till next time!! :)
SubaG
12:54 am
