Been ages since i blogged! lol.. I guess i am just moving on with my life here in Bradford.. i dunno what i do though.. i go to lectures, come back and do something and next thing i know it its time to sleep! its sad i couldn't lead my busy lide in first year when it mattered and now i should be locked in my room with my books. my exams are in december and i so don't know what the lectures are about! i am getting panic attacks and can't concentrate properly in lectures. just sitting and worrying about what to do with my exams and revision. i remember a friend of mine once said dat why should i be afraid of exams. i should be facing my fears and not sit down and just feel the fear. Nothing will change to make me forget about it..Joined the gym two weeks ago. haven't been going everyday or anything like dat but i have been used to going to the gym.. need to get into shape. people have said i have put so muvh of weight on! Gosh... oh well, uni students and take aways i guess but i am determined to loose weight this year. lets see what happens. Ball is next week. I haven't got a dress yet, need to go dress shopping next week. i want to try and get a different colour dress this time but we will see what happens this time. I gave an announcement to first years today asking them to come to the ball. One of the guys came up to me after and asked me if i had a date for the ball.. lol, i never thought about having a date to the ball actually... used to going alone and enjoying myself alone. I just read my previous blog and i said i was going on a detox programme. i don't think i actually stuck to the detox! I speak about G tot hte girls and i meet M once in a while althought M and i are just strictly friends. its just a nice feeling at the end of the day to have a good friend. Its M's b'day on sunday. i was thinking of getting him his favourite movies on dvd. gonna get him wedding crashers and alladin.. I'm going to be 1 in exactly a month. i dunt want to turn 21, makes me feel like i am going to be old and i am going to have more responsibilities! M is flyinh off on my b'day. my exams start on the 11th. i have a very strong feeling my 21st is gonna be a boring day. i mean even the girls who live with me didn't bother to wish me last year. My parents are going to India in december. they are having a family holiday and guess wat i am stuck here! do i care?? Hmm... i dunno! i really wanted to go to india and to find out about family hols without me... i dunno what i feel. i think i just keep myself busy cuz i don't want to think about anything. i have been on the go eversince i came back in september. i complain i don't have time to myself but i am scared to have time to myself. i am scared im going to breakdown or think of stuff that will make me even more confused. been watching One Tree Hill. finished season three and started off with season four. i was so engrossed in it, it was crazy. i literally locked my room door while i was warching it. didn't want anyone to bother me. I know its a high school series but it has made me think of things. i know its sad but sometimes i think i am more like peyton.. i dunno cuz peyton seems depressed all the time and she seems to ruin everyone's moods.. I wish i meet someone like Nathan. but tats something for me to plan in a very long time!! lol Got my hoodie... my very own pharmacy hoodie dat says 'subaroonie' not dat i like rooney or anything like dat but yeah, dats wat people have been calling me here since first year. quite comfy it is.. got to get ready for the gym.....*are you happy Veenah? Finally blogged! Make sure you revise for your exams! im in trouble for not revising for mine!! Miss you xxx
SubaG
4:56 pm
